The Vile Village: A Series of Unfortunate Events, Vol. 7: 07 - Tapa blanda

Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. A studied expert in rhetorical analysis, Mr Snicket has spent the last several eras researching the travails of the Baudelaire orphans.

Lemony Snicket published his first book in 1999 and has not had a good night's sleep since. Mr Snicket is the author of quite a few books, all dreadful, and has been falsely accused of many crimes, all falsely. Once the recipient of several distinguished rewards, he is now an escapee of several indistinguishable prisons. He is widely regarded as one of the most difficult children's authors to capture and imprison. There are thirteen books in the A Series of Unfortunate Events, which should be avoided at all costs.

Until recently, he was presumed to be 'presumed dead'. Instead, this 'presumed' presumption wasn't disproved not to be incorrect. Most things written about him are not true, but this is.

Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor’s degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.

There is nothing to be found in the pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair.

You still have time to choose another international best-seller to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on . . .

Within the chapters of The Vile Village Violet, Klaus and Sunny face such unpleasant matters as migrating crows, an angry mob, a newspaper headline, the arrest of innocent people, the Deluxe cell, and some very strange hats.

With 5 million copies sold in the UK alone, one might consider Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events to make him one of the most successful children’s authors of the past decade. We, however, consider these miserable so-called adventure stories and the Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey that accompanied the books for children as nothing more than a dreadful mistake.